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Recent Posts
 11:27 | 2/Feb/2008 | 5 Comment(s)
SOME JOKES TO RELAX ON WEEKEND

1) what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wondering how?
thats bcoz.....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR


============================== ===================================================


2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..


============================== ===================================================


3 ) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
===================================================


4 ) n elephant falls in luv wid n Ant.but Ant's parents r against their
marrige guess y??
they gave a solid reason Ladke k daant bahar hain**
===================================================


5 ) ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..


===================================================

6 ) Full form of MATHS????
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students


===================================================


9) what wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina


============================== ===================================================

3+ 3 =8
Bataao Kaise?
Bataao Bataao!

Nahi Pata?!!

Are Galati se!!!!!!!!!!!


============================== ===================================================

Teacher: 'A' for?
Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI

=================================================================================

1) Smoking
2) Drinking
3) Charas
4) Ganja
5) Chicken
6) Mutton
7) Oily food
8) Masala
9) Sleep & obesity
10) Pollution


= Heart Attack


Matlab

scrolll down



DUS bahane karke le gaye DIL !!


==================================================================================

What's the opposite of "Dominoes"???

think
think
think
think
think


tired of thinking???



Well the answer is "Domi doesn't know"

============================== ====================================================

Whats the opposite of "Pizza Hut"
....
....
...
......



okei don't kill me "Pizza.... Hutna mat"


==================================================================================

ok whats the opp of venky's..




venlocks...
(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)

========================================= =========================================

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?



' Come ' palakrishnan.


==================================================================================

A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.

:-(


Guess why ?




because there it was written "Number dial karne se pehele do lagae"

=================================================================================

ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge .......

sweets nops

salt nopes

think

think


are yaar
birla white cement
kyunki iske ander jaan hei........

==================================================================================

whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man
jumping from 10th floor?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
...
..
former goes (hit) aaaaaaaaa
later goes aaaaaaaaa (hit)

==================================================================================

Other than being fruits, what is common between an Apple and an
Orange ?

think......
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
.............
............
.............
............
............
............
socho socho
............
.............
............
............
............
............
............
............
............
.............
the answer is ..........
They Both Are Not a Banana !!

 





(now,now,dont bang ur head plz..)

========================================= =========================================



Permalink 
 16:53 | 2/Jan/2008 | 2 Comment(s)
WISH U ALL HAPPY NEW YEAR

YEAR 2007 HAS GONE WITH MANY TEARS AND FEARS BUT WE ALSO HAD REASONS FOR CHEER.WISHING YOU HAPPY MEMORIES OF LAST YEAR AND HAVE A GREATE BEGINING FOR NEW YEAR.

Permalink 
 14:16 | 19/Dec/2007 | 2 Comment(s)
WHEN TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

 



On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state,her husband readily agreed
 
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.


Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
  
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were
worth over $2 million,  and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
 
  
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex,  these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
 
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,

 

"If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"  

That's when she shot him.

 You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.


 

Permalink 
 17:35 | 15/Dec/2007 | 2 Comment(s)
WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

Hi Friends

I received mail from my friend and I wish to share it with all my ilander friend. It as follow

 

 

WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

 

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven a its value.

 

We publish below a description of use of water for our readers.

 

For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:

 

 

Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

 

METHOD OF TREATMENT

 

1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water

 

2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute

 

3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.

 

4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours

 

5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.

 

6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

 

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases:

 

1. High Blood Pressure - 30  days

 

2. Gastric - 10  days

 

3. Diabetes - 30  days

 

4. Constipation - 10  days

 

5. Cancer - 180 days

 

6. TB - 90  days

 

7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards - daily.

 

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

 

It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life.

 

Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

 

This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...

 

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.

 

 

It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

 

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

 

A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting.

 

Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.

 

You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.

 

Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.

 

60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.

 

Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...

 

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

 

Please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about.

Permalink 
 13:05 | 1/Dec/2007 | 6 Comment(s)
SOME GOOD THOUGHTS

Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself


è          ALEN STRIKE.


 


 You are not responsible for what people think about you.


But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.


è            STANLEY FERRARD.


 


 


A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.


A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.


è                         CHARLES DICKENS.


 


Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.                                                                    


è                      GEORGE      BERNARDSHAW.


 


Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.


è                         BILL JACOBS .


 


 


Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.


è                         Dr. ABDUL KALAM.


 


 


Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know


when your company stops loving you.


è                         Dr. ABDUL KALAM.


   


 


You may get DELAYED to reach your Targets.


 But every step you take towards your target is EQUAL to Victory.


è                         KARL MARX.


 


It's better to loose your Ego to the one you Love,


than to loose the one you LOVE because of EGO.


è                         JOHN KEATS.


 


Don't make promise when you are in JOY . Don't reply when you are SAD.


Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy.


 


 When you start caring about yourself, you start loving somebody.


But when start caring about others somebody will start loving you.


 


 


 


 


 


 


Last one is awesome!!!


 


What is the Secret of SUCCESS...  ?


"RIGHT DECISIONS"


How do you make Right Decisions...? "EXPERIENCE


How do you get Experience...           ?


"WRONG DECISIONS"

Permalink 
 18:43 | 28/Nov/2007 | 4 Comment(s)
NEW STYLE OF LOVE LETTER

New style of writing a love letter :    


     My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) ,  You are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best)  and you are SANSUI (Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh )  feeling for me.


     I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough)  but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones).

    If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye).  For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World's best homemakers)

    Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people)
  who love each other. And we are WILLS (Made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy ) and PARX (Always Comfortable).So never forget me. Ok bye!

I wrote little but PEPSI (Yeh dil mange more).!

LG
(Digitally Yours) !!!!!


bye bye

Permalink 
 16:07 | 27/Nov/2007 | 3 Comment(s)
WITH AGE COMES WISDOM

With age comes wisdom

 

 

 



A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish.  He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

*
He looked around and couldn't see any one.  He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
*
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

*
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you.  Pick me up.

Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."

*
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

*
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts?  Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will l give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."

*
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said


"Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Permalink 
 14:57 | 27/Nov/2007 | 6 Comment(s)
Be enterprenuer not serviceman

A good story for all of us to follow in our careers and social life........ ...very true

Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys.

Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B.

Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than the other. It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.


Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective of the washerman's presence. After a period of time, Washerman started pressurizing Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A. But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman. It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here, why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed ".


That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also.

Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised and he started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell down hopelessly.

Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supreme and happily started carrying more load with great speed. But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast. For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain. But washerman expected more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load... Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best... But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction. Finally the day came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A and went for searching some other Donkeys.


Its an endless story..........

But the moral of the Story in Corporate and social life is......,

"Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is capable.... Always Share the Load equally..... Don't ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try for getting over-credit. ..

Don't feel happy when ur colleague is under pressure.. "

It doesn't matter if u r A or B,
for the Boss u shall be always DONKEY

And most importantly, Never Work Hard, Work Cleverly.....
"Success is a journey not a destination"

Permalink 
 14:37 | 14/Nov/2007 | 4 Comment(s)
Thoughts to be Thought about

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
Thought 2
The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.





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Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again
the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will
run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as
a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got
married?"

 
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This is the best!!!